My son Reed, who is turning two in April, is one of the biggest motivations for finishing my degree while simultaneously making it more difficult. And I wouldn’t change a thing about it. During the first week of Spring 24 semester, my son (20 months old at the time) and I both came down with the flu. I was on the mend pretty quickly, and we thought he was as well. He ended up taking a turn for the worst and we as a family spent four days in the PICU with him. My wife and I sat by his side hoping to see the nurses come in to say they could turn down his oxygen, that he would show some sign of improving, that we would be able to somehow pay for the ER visit and the subsequent hospital room we were in, hoping that he would turn back into the silly and happy boy he normally was.
All the while in another part of my mind I was worried about the schoolwork I was falling behind on, the student teaching days I was missing, and the shifts I was unable to work at the UMSL Veterans Center leading to a loss of our already small income. When he managed to take short nap; I would sneak into the corner of the room and read textbooks, try to make up past due work that was piling up, and speaking with my professors. I was met with complete support from my professors, manager, and cooperating teacher for student teaching. I was offered one-on-one zoom meetings to discuss material, extended deadlines, and ways to pick up shifts to make up for the lost hours. I was already crushed by the feeling that I had failed my child and was somehow at fault for his sickness, the fear of failing my classes was easy to stack on.
Yet everyone that I interact with at UMSL was there to support me and make sure I still had every opportunity to succeed. There is so much I want for my son as he grows up, just like every parent we want the best for our kids. Yet I want my son to see me succeed and to grow up knowing that he can overcome mistakes, achieve his dreams, and become the person we know he can be. When I walk across the graduation stage at UMSL this December and see his little hands clapping, I’ll know I’ve shown him some of what can be accomplished.
