Reflecting on problems of UMSL

Greetings One of All! It's me again. So, everybody, how was your holiday? Good? Good. Here are some important Post-Daguerreotype tidbits concerning UMSL's state of disunion.

Parking fees are up and the roads still remind me of Beruit. Other fees are up, I guess that means more of my money is going to Reactionary Fundamentalist Religious groups. I guess I will have to start going to SIUE as a non-resident student next fall. Welcome to The Weimar Republic of UMSL!

1. The rotten Weimarist SGA is giving Herr Butler an appeal; goes to show that the Reichstag has nothing better to do.
2. U. Magazine actually listened to my advice. Instead of the usual "stupid-teen" routine, they actually published a political article. Right On!
3. I'd like to encourage students to boycott Homecoming activities and eventually Smurf-(oops!) Mirth-Day. As if anyone knows or wants to know what the hell a Mirth is. I guess if you put a Smurf and a Mirth in a ring, the Smurf would win out.
4. I'd like to encourage the student populace to vote in the SGA elections; however, instead of voting for Herr Wolfe or some other nobody, I encourage students to vote for themselves for president on a massive write-in campaign. I know that I will under the Smurf Coalition Party.

Remember, " A vote for yourself is a vote for democracy!"

-Robert C. Montague II

Bernsen brings back basketball

Mark Bernsen has brought back atmosphere to the Mark Twain Building by building a successful basketball program in one short year. Bernsen has the UMSL Rivermen playing hard and smart which equals wins. The gym is alive with great basketball including the UMSL Riverwomen. The UMSL Pep Band cranks out great tunes that add to the spirit of the games. UMSL students, professors, faculty, alums and the community should check out the remaining games and support the teams in the NCAA tournament. Kudos to Bernsen and the Athletic Department for bringing life back to the Mark Twain Building and running a fine facility.

-Pat Williams
UMSL Alumni