New college has new logo

by Li'l Bitch
Momo-in-Chief

The logo, which is basically a French Fry container with the DUMSL logo on it, was selected over hundreds of entries due to its symbolism; the average degree in Fine Arts and Communicatin' is almost guaranteed a job at McDonald's across the nation, with an average starting salary pursuant of the minimum wage.

A few months back, Chancellor Brand Newbill announced the formation of a new school at DUMSL, the College of Fine Arts and Communicatin'. Newbill cited "an overwhelming number of students who just don't care about real things anymore" as the moving factor in the formation of the new school, which looks to have about 15,000 DUMSL students, or about 90 percent of the student body, enrolled in it.

As the search for a dean and other administrative bodies continues, Newbill is also working on giving the school an image, something tangible so that students in the new school have something to look forward to.

"I feel that the school needs some type of symbol or motto so that it can distinguish itself from the rest of the campus," Newbill said.

The logo, which is basically a French Fry container with the DUMSL logo on it, was selected over hundreds of entries due to its symbolism; the average B.A. in Fine Arts and Communicatin' is almost guaranteed a job at McDonald's across the nation, with an average starting salary pursuant of the minimum wage.

Newbill said that "those (fine art and communcatin') students have a 100 percent job placement rate within six months of graduation. That's a helluva figure."

Jacque Greenburger, president and chief executive officer for McDonald's, stated that "the formation of the new school at DUMSL is a great step towards employing the best soda jerks and burger-flippers in the nation. I am proud that they have chosen to represent their school with a great piece of Americana - the French Fry."

The logo was designed by DUMSL senior William Burnt Jr., whose father has claim to the infamous Riverman mascot.

"They promised me extra ketchup with this order, and demand that ketchup right now," exclaimed Burnt. "I also want a marble statuette of me drawing on the McDonald's box the DUMSL logo. That's pure genius. It's a image that will last forever."

Although Newbill has no plans to commission the erection of a statue, she does state that "I have (director of misinformation) Boob Simple working with Burnt to come to a simple resolution so that Burnt will stop bitching. I told Simple just to supersize his degree and offer him a position on the grill."

To this date, Burnt has not responded to Simple's offer.

The logo will be made official later this afternoon and will be on letterhead for the school by the end of the week.