Teen pop saves the world

The depth of craft and expression inherent in the flash and circumstance of teen-pop's thirty-thousand-seat music concerts helplessly seduces art coinsurers and intellectuals alike. The well-coordinated dance moves express a sense of community and togetherness. The dances are also often very erotic, featuring a large amount of hip thrusts and self-groping. This erotic nature is thought to symbolize the renewal of life in the face of the inevitability of death. This is also the reason why so many of female teen-pop stars show their navel as often as possible.

Also, often the dances resemble an attack formation, such as all the dancers forming a V, with the point facing the crowd. The V-formation was first popularized as an offensive strategy in the game of football. Its reemergence in the teen-pop movement is meant as a message to younger listeners about the importance of sports and fair play. Its been well noted how many of America's most prominent athletes show up at teen-pop concerts.

Another important aspect of a teen-pop concert is the large light show. Usually, while the teen-pop stars are performing, they will be engulfed in haze of misty smoke and pulsating lights. This mixture of the light and smoke creates an impenetrable haze where rolling swirls of the smoke hold the purples and greens of the lights, creating a wall. This will cause the audience to strain forward, desperately trying to locate the teen-pop stars that have become lost in the fog. Just when one thinks all is lost, the teen-pop stars will bellow out a note of musical defiance and the smoke will clear, the lights will change, and all of a sudden the teen-pop stars will triumphantly reappear, often with their fist pumped in the air and sweat beading down their forehead. This will cause many in the crowd to weep with a mixture of exhaustion and joy, because they too know the feeling of once being lost and now found.

Another well-respected staple of a teen-pop concert are the grossly inflated ticket prices. The ticket prices are set really high, much higher then the concert could ever be worth, so that the people who buy the tickets are forced to find and maintain employment. This in turn cuts down on joblessness and general laziness. Also, fans get to keep half of the ticket stubs as memorabilia.

There are many hidden treasures of inspiration and insight lurking around a teen-pop concert. It is doubtful that the true complexity of everything the teen-pop artists are trying to convey could be known, at least not today. It will take many years of thoughtful observation and analysis before the true depths of teen-pop can really be understood.

For instance, the clothes? They appear hideously gaudy, but surely there is a much deeper reason then just fashion. Moreover, most teen-pop songs actually suck. Yet, given time, the music will assuredly present its true nature and all of mankind will be the better for it.