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LeTtErS to the EdItOr

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COUP D'ETAT STRIKES SGA - SGA Controller Ren Nash announced at Thursday's Stupid Government , meeting that he had overthrown President Tim Bravery and declared martial law eliciting angry responses from the three student groups who bothered to attend

MAJOR BOOKSTORE THEFT FOILED

'SEXY ARMPITS PROVOKES CONTROVERSY

STAGNANT EDITOR TO GET INTERN

NEW CENTER TO BE OPEN TO ELITE HONORARY COLLEGE STUDENTS ONLY