Outside In! by Becky Rickard

With the pending hypothetical yet conceivable disaster facing us with the new millennium, I have one thing to say, "Y2 Kiss my butt!"

As much as I rely on computers for just about everything in my life, I still think this mounting suspicion and unspoken fear that seems to be running through many people's minds is absolutely ridiculous.

What is it about computers and the people who work them? My first job after college was as a Marketing Analyst for a computer-consulting firm. I met a lot of computer people through this job, which is a major reason why I am no longer working for that company in that industry. Yes, the information technology industry and many of the people in it are completely whacked out.

I don't mean go off on a rant here, but I cannot believe that there are computer professionals out there that are making more money than doctors are making. These people are working with computers, not saving lives! . . .

And the egos! Many of these IT professionals walk around like they own the world. They treat you like the village idiot if you don't know what a gigabyte is. Just because I'm not technically oriented and would rather leave those details in someone else's hands, doesn't mean I'm an idiot.

Bill Gates deserves the mythical stature that is given to him. He utilized his talents, dreamt a dream, worked hard to build an empire and now he's sitting on top of it. Good for him. However, he has kept a pretty level head for his accomplishments. The man still refuses sit in first class on an airplane because the ticket prices are outrageous. I wish other IT professionals would follow his lead.

So save me the song and dance about making the world Y2K compliant. That is your job. It is no different than the accountant at tax time, the lawyer during a trial or the doctor when you are sick. Go ahead, command a high salary--it is the American dream. But don't treat me second-class because I don't share your technical enthusiasm.

And what is up with these sickos that create these computer viruses! They have to be certifiably insane. It reminds me of the jealous ex-husband-stalking syndrome. While these people claim to love their computers (like jealous ex-husbands claim to love their ex-wives), they are so obsessed with it that they want to control them and the effect they have on other people's lives. It's not my computer's fault that you lost your mind sitting behind your computer all day, everyday, losing any ounce of social grace you might have had.

Guess what? People, no matter how badly the tables have turned, created computers. If you get your kicks by creating a virus that will erase my hard drive then you really need to step away from your computer and visit the nearest mental hospital. Reality exists and it isn't always virtual. Sometimes e-business is the best way to go but who isn't impressed by an old-fashioned handshake to close a deal.

I applaud those computer professionals who are truly helpful and willing to explain and answer questions. They are few and far between and I think most of them work with me. I don't know what a gigabyte is, and I don't care. The people who should be allowed to have God complexes are usually the people who are the most down to earth. And for those computer people who think they are intelligent renegades on a mission to control technology - I'm calling the pocket-protector police on you and hopefully they will force you to get a life away from your e-life.com.

And that's my view from the outside in.