This was supposed to be the glorious update. After my MRI
and EEG in June, I was ready to report everything looked
good and I was feeling good and nearly fully recovered.
I did have these tests in June and everything did look Perfect!
Then July 1st I had 4 full-body seizures. After the first, they
took me to the local hospital. There they found my medicine was
a little low, so they gave me some more Dilantin. The next
morning they let me go home. My dad and his wife came to help
out. Over the next few days, I either stayed in bed, ate or just
looked blankly into space. My head hurt, my body was extremely
tense and about once a day I had mini panic attack that I later
learned were simple seizures.
This is not living. This is existing. Abi got me help anywhere
she could. I saw Ron the healer. Didn't help. I saw our family
doctor Friday. He said - well, your Dilantin should be helping
by now. I started getting pissed and scared. 'Do I just have to
live with this?' I kept wondering. We called Columbus but did
not get much response, so Abi looked for a local neurologist to
help through our family physicians. Being July 5th, the earliest
appointment we could get would be about July 11th!
Panic and frustration grew. Abi called a doctor friend she works
with and asked for help. He got us an appointment the next
morning! Relief. Hope.
This doctor reviewed my MRI films and gave me a through exam.
Being at his office I got more and more nervous and had a
mini-seizure while he was examining me. Damn this is hard to
deal with.
The doctor said that he agreed my MRIs look fine and thinks the
Dilantin is not giving me the protection it should. He suggested
we switch to another medicine call Integretal that is also good
for this condition. He also gave me a 10 day supply of an
anti-anxiety medicine. Anti-anxiety medicine? At first I was
like - no way. But, anything to help. ANYTHING. So he said to
take all three medicines until I have enough Integratol.
He also said to be very hopeful. The seizures are caused by the
scar tissue left from my surgery and they are very controllable.
After taking the first medicine, I thought what is THAT feeling!
My arms....they're warming/relaxing. The entire first night I
kept saying, 'I just can't wipe the smile off my face.' I was
drugged and happy.
Since then I have been continuing to take more Integratol and
wanting to sleep more and more. I'm sure I could sleep most of
the day and night. I don't think I've had any more seizures, but
I'm not feeling 'right' either. I am sensitive to stress and
want to sleep. The plan is to have a blood test on Friday and
then talk about starting to reduce the Dilantin. The happy pills
run out Tuesday. So, I feel stabilized; but_.
I am attempting to contact a local relaxation specialist. It's
clear to me stress is a factor. It is also possible that I was
never on the correct mediation.
I took this past week off of work to recover and rest some.
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Medication. That brings up some other discussions. Given
these events, I may have to take anti-seizure medicine forever.
I'm not allowed to drive for at least 3 months. Overall, I may
need to live a 'relaxed' lifestyle.
And what about our future. Should Abi hurry to get a job where
she could be the primary 'bread winner.' Will I continue to be
fully capable or only partly?
Is this a bump in the road or a sign?
We're asking ourselves some of these questions. And - as you
know - there is no 'answer.' Just more possibilities.
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The past two weeks have been very scary. I've heard from
several of you. Thanks. Be well_.
With love,