To The Point

Newsletter of The Writing Lab

Fall, 2009

Inside this issue:

Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tech

By David Linzee, Supervisor of the Writing Lab

                   A few years ago, before cell phones had completely lost the bloom of novelty, an enthusiastic colleague was trying to talk me into buying one. “Once you have a cell phone, you won’t know how you did without one,” she said.

“But I am doing without one,” I replied, “so I must know how.”

She frowned, and with an almost audible thud, put me down as an old fogey.

In truth I had felt Fogeydom coming over me ever since the early ‘90s. Up to then, I’d welcomed change: telephone answering machines, word processing, email. But for most of us, technological innovation loses its allure as we become set in our ways. And one day, along comes the gadget that seems like way more trouble than it’s worth.

In my case, that gadget was the cell phone. I could go on for pages about how much other people’s cell phones, and their enthusiasm for them, annoy me. But I’ll spare you. The interesting point is that they still annoy me. They’ve been around for so long, and they’re everywhere, so why can’t I just get used to them?

I recall the old fogeys of my youth. For them, the innovation that went too far was Muzak. That sprightly, insipid pseudo-music drizzling from overhead speakers was everywhere when I was a kid: elevators, waiting rooms, airports, supermarkets. I didn’t like it, but it was easy enough to get used to and ignore. I couldn’t figure out why the old fogeys felt so irritated and indignant about it.

Now I’m a fogey myself, and I know. It’s a sad moment when you realize that for the rest of your life you’re going to be out of step with the march of progress. But my reflections have produced some comfort. I’ve realized that Muzak is far less pervasive than it used to be. I can’t remember the last time I was in an elevator that played elevator music.

 It’s obvious what must have happened. The people who decide whether or not to have Muzak on the premises (what a job!) decided there was no point anymore, because most people are listening to their own headsets, laptops—or cell phones. New irritating innovations have made the old irritating innovation obsolete. It gives me hope. If I live long enough, I may outlive the cell phone.

Tutor V. Machine

By Hannah Jones, Tutor and Second Year MA student

  Hannah sat scribbling a rough draft of her thesis in a large notebook, where she kept all her newborn ideas and quotes from important sources—the lifeblood of her scholarship. She was so absorbed in her work she didn’t hear the student quietly wander into the Writing Lab. The student politely cleared her throat and startled Hannah who jumped in her seat, spilling her notebook from her lap. Sources and note cards lay scattered across the blue-purple carpet of the Writing Lab. The student, an older woman with brown-grey hair, apologized to Hannah and stooped to help her pick up the mass of handwritten literature strewn across the floor.

                  “You certainly write a lot!” the woman exclaimed as she gathered papers. “What on earth is all this?” Hannah answered, “This is my thesis outline and sources, which I will type up and submit to my professor.”

   “Well, I haven’t seen a student write a paper in this way in decades. How very,” the woman paused, “archaic of you.” Hannah smiled ruefully. The woman thought her crazy for writing everything by hand instead of using the technology at hand. Hannah asked the woman if she needed assistance. The woman glanced at the pile of papers in Hannah’s arms and shook her head. “I was just going to write up some citations for my midterms, but there is a program on the computer that will plug that information in for me, so I think I will be fine on my own.” She smiled dubiously at Hannah. “Thank you for asking, though, dear.”

                  Dejected, Hannah returned to her notes, but she was soon summoned by angry muttering from the woman sitting at a lab computer. She walked over to the woman and asked her if she needed help. Frustrated, she told Hannah that the works cited program was not correctly filling in the information as she supplied it. Hannah noticed that the woman was trying to cite an article from an anthology, so she wrote the citation on a piece of paper, handed it to the woman and said, “This is the correct format for an article from an anthology in MLA. If the computer doesn’t understand the information you give it, it will simply come as close as it can—often to your assignment’s detriment.” The woman still looked perplexed so Hannah asked if she needed anything else. The woman shook her head and asked Hannah how she had cited the information so quickly. “After writing something enough, you just remember it.” The woman grinned, “That’s the reason for the notebook.” Hannah nodded, “That’s the reason for the notebook.”

Eat the Obsolete

By Ron Austin, Tutor and second year M.F.A student

                  The Terminator. Neuroumancer. The Matrix. Ghost in the Shell. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? A common thread between these movies and books is the meshing of human biology with technology, physically and mentally, to create creatures and conscious beings with capabilities far beyond that of a natural born human. Motoko Kusanagi’s questioning of whether she is human or not in her cybernetic body or the necessity of an empathy test to decide whether or not a machine is actually a man were once only imaginative, yet far flung plots and metaphors that could be passable in some forms of soft fantasy as well as science fiction. 

                  But today, in an age of advanced mechanics and microchips, the amazing feats envisioned in science fiction are slowly becoming science fact. Claudia Mitchell, an amputee and former marine, can attest to this belief as she is one of the first to utilize a cybernetic arm. A matrix of nerves and wires gives her direct mental control over her arm, much like the robot arm Will Smith brandishes in I Robot. There has been research conducted in uploading whole human consciousness to hard-drives and sending psychic messages through LAN lines. There has even been a transhumanist movement for the last forty years that argues: “aspects of the human condition, such as disability, suffering, disease, aging, and involuntary death are unnecessary and undesirable.”  

 Quite frankly, these developments are scary. We are thinking faster than our bodies can grow. We are so far ahead of evolution and our own biology that we are quickly coming to a point where we are forcing evolution forward on assumptions and imagination more than concrete knowledge. Perhaps we human beings are a race too smart for our own well being. Before mother nature can batter us with an earthquake or tsunami; before she can taint us with another plague or variation of the Swine Flu; we will create something so volatile and vicious that those bigger than life cataclysms only seen in movies or read in outlandish (but good) books will seem tame. Maybe Skynet will overrun the earth with murderous robots. Maybe machines will enslave us until Neo version 7.0 appears as our Moses. Maybe we’ll be assimilated into the borg. The end is certain unless, quite possibly, we upgrade to titanium bodies manufactured by Chevorlet, install the Ipod algorithm from Apple to regulate our heart beats, save our souls to the newest Mircosoft PC, and pray that everything doesn’t crash down all around our heads. 

University of Missouri-St. Louis

Writing Lab

409 SSB

516-5950

Writing Lab 409 SSB

Hours:

• Monday           10am-7pm
• Tuesday           10am-7pm
• Wednesday     10am-7pm
• Thursday         10am-7pm
• Friday               10am-2 pm
• Saturday          Closed
• Sunday1pm-5pm

GET IT RIGHT IN WRITING!

Would you like to:

Save time writing papers?

Improve your grades?

Further your career?

Improve your confidence?

Then Attend Our Workshops!

The Writing Lab and ESL program are offering free 30-45 minute writing workshops, including clear explanations and practice.

 Oct. 19 (Mon.) in SSB 216 & 20 (Tues.) 12:30 in SSB 334  That Darned S!  Plurals, possessives, subject-verb agreement and contractions - it’s all so confusing until you review these basics. Lesson includes explanations of embarrassing errors like its or it’s.

Nov. 9 (Mon.) 12:30 in SSB 216 Research Papers without Tears.  What you need to know about APA or MLA style. How to introduce quotes. When to do block quotes. How to cite books, journal articles, and Internet sources, both in your text and at the end of your paper

Nov. 10 (Tues.) 12:30 p.m. in SSB 334 Sentence Structure and Transitions.  Longer sentences pose challenges. Learn how to use the right transition words to stitch clauses together.  Enhance the flow and logic of your paper.

Online Tutoring FAQ

By The Umsl Writing Lab

Tutor V. Machine(Cont’d)

“If the computer doesn’t understand the information you give it, it will simply come as close as it can—often to your assignment’s             detriment.”

The Writing Lab now offers free online tutoring to all University of Missouri-St. Louis students.

The Writing Lab now offers free online tutoring to all University of Missouri-St. Louis students.