From the morality play Mankind (c. 1465-70), translated into
modern English
Titivillus: Go your way; the Devil's way; get
going all of you. I bless you with my left hand, may foulness befall
you. Make sure you come quickly when I call you. And bring what your gained with you. I will wait here to speak with
Mankind. And test his abilities to resist temptation. The Good man
Mercy is no longer his guide. I shall make him dance to another
tune. Even as I go invisible, as is my fashion, I will hang my nets
right before his eyes to corrupt his sight, I'll test him. I shall concoct a
plan to interrupt his work. I'll hide a board under the ground where he
digs with his spade and hinder his progress. Hopefully this will make
him very angry, loose his patience, and behave shamefully. I shall mix
weeds in with his corn and this will make it difficult to cultivate and
sell. Here he comes now. I hope this works and he begins to lose
his holiness. |
Mankind: Now God of his mercy send us his
message. I have seed here to sow on my land.
While I till it, it shall stay here. In the Name of the Father Son and Holy
spirit I begin. [He's having
difficulty because of Titivillus's traps] This
land is so hard it makes me unhappy and upset. I shall sow my corn at
winter and let God help me. [Time
is obviously passing] Alas my corn is lost here is ill fortune. I now see
that I will gain little by farming. I give up using a spade now and
forever. [Titivillus picks up the discarded spade and takes it
off stage] I will no longer attempt to work as an occupation.
I will go and hear the evening prayers before I leave. This is the place that
is my church I will kneel on my knees. "Our father who art in
heaven." Titivillus: I promise you I can move very
quickly. I am back to annoy this fellow. Shush! Peace! I shall go and
whisper in his ear. "A short prayer is the most efficient"
"Now stop praying. Get up and get going. You've got to take
a dump." Mankind: I will just sneak off into the yard
for a moment and come right back. I dread colic and kidney stones, so I
will go do what must be done. I leave my prayer beads here in case
someone else can use them. Titivillus: Mankind was busy praying but I made him
get up. He is interrupted from his divine service, by Christ.
Where is he you might ask, and oddly enough I
know. I have sent him off to shit lies. If you have some silver
or perhaps some brass. Take a little powder of Paris and rub it on the brass
and it will pass for silver at night. Titivillus
can teach you many such things. I trust Mankind will come again soon or else
the evening prayers will be over and his prayer beads will be lost as well.
Mankind is coming back. I hope everything came out all right. I shall
have an answer for any question he might ask. This way I can lead him
away from his purpose. Mankind: Evening prayers have been going on
for too long. I'm tired of them they're too long by a mile. I
think I'll cut back on the Church going. I think I'll try doing something
else. Both labor and prayer are no fun. Even if it will bother
Mercy--I'm gonna give it up. My head is so
heavy I could sleep forever, even if my brother needed me. Titivillus: If you've ever been quiet for me, be so
now. Not a word I tell you or you'll owe me money. You shall see an amusing
game before you leave here. Do you hear him snore--he is fast asleep. Shush,
quiet! "Don't fear the Devil" I'll whisper in his ear.
Alas, alas Mankind, Mercy has stolen a horse. He is a runaway slave and
he is on the lamb. He stole a horse and an ox cart. And I heard that he
broke his neck over in France, but actually I
think they hanged him. They taught him that swinging dance because he's a
thief--he got what he deserved. Don't trust someone like him.
He's a liar--remember how hard the work he ordered was? Arise and make
friends with New Guise, Nowadays and Nought.
They can best tell you what's right, make amends with them.
You should also leave your wife and get a mistress." Farewell all,
my work here is done. I have now brought Mankind to mischief and shame. |
Mankind: Hurray! Mercy has broken his
neck or is hanged by the neck high on a gallows. Adieu fair masters I'm
off to the nearest alehouse. To speak with New Guise, Nowadays, and Nought and get me a floozy with a pretty face. |