BOMBAY - THE FIRST DAY IN INDIA
     
    Driving in India (Part 1) 
My introduction to driving in India was gradual. The first inkling came when we were still in St. Louis and I asked Vally if we were considering renting a car during our trip, as we had almost everywhere else. His shock and horror followed by an emphatic "No way" clued me in that something was going to be different here. When I got into Chrissie's car, two things were immediately apparent: 1) India drives on the left hand side of the road and 2) there are no seat belts. Driving to Chrissie's apartment was strange, because everything was on the wrong side, but in some ways it was similar to driving through Havana on our first night in Cuba, except that there were people sleeping on some of the sidewalks, and the air smelled bad. There was traffic, but not enough to slow us down. We talked about computers and the internet, and even though Chrissie spoke fast and I had just gotten off a jet plane, I think I understood at least 80% of what he said.
    Chrissie's Place
     
Chrissie's apartment is in Bandra, a "nice" section of Bombay. We drove up a narrow alleyway off a busy, narrow street into a kind of courtyard/parking lot. The watchman was asleep on a piece of cloth in the entryway. After he woke up he helped haul our bags to the second floor. Chrissie's door and every door I've seen since in India, is secured by a sliding bolt with a hasp and lock on the outside, which looks like it could easily be removed with the suitable application of a crow bar. It also had a keyed door lock like the ones we have. Chrissie's apartment turned out to be a small hallway, a medium-sized room on the left, which was mostly taken up by a double bed, a small room on the right, with a narrow bed on the far wall, a fold-down table on the middle-wall and a TV (large, 42 cable channels) on the opposite wall. There was also a small kitchen, to the right and a bathroom straight ahead. At first I was confused about where to go, looking for a living room, but that was it. Actually, Chrissie is now very successful in his accounting business. His job is to help companies navigate the Byzantine complexities of the Indian tax system and bureaucracy. The apartment I first saw was his new apartment. When Vally last visited him, Chrissie's wife and child lived downstairs in the bedroom of in a similar-sized apartment and he conducted his business in the other room. I think they also had a servant who slept in the kitchen. Now, he has also bought the apartment above, and converted the downstairs one to an office. He has connected the two with a flight of stairs. The office consists of a waiting area/sitting room, a medium-sized work area with four 486 computers in it, and a small personal office for Chrissie. The servant now sleeps on the floor of the waiting room. Each of these apartments is worth $100,000.
    Visiting Andrew And Giselle
     
Well, we were finally in Bombay, and it was 5:30 AM. Our suitcases filled the entire floor space of Chrissie's bedroom. We unpacked the eagerly awaited CD player that we had brought for Matthew, Vally's 22 year-old brother. We had also brought along some Xmas music, including something called "A Macarena Xmas" which I had considered something of a joke. To my amazement, but not Vally's, Matthew was totally enchanted and insisted on playing it, loud. We sat around Chrissie's office, talking computers and planning the day. We wanted to visit Andrew, Vally's uncle, who because he was only three months older, was raised with Vally as almost a twin until Vally's family left the village when he was 11. We called and woke them up, then gave them until 7 AM before we showed up at the door. I'm not sure what part of Bombay Andrew lives in. I don't know how many rooms the apartment had, but we only saw the kitchen and the small living room with its balcony. Most of the Indian homes we have visited were very simply furnished as was this one, with a low sofa and mattresses on the floor for sitting. Andrew lives with his wife Jenny, and daughter, Natasha who is about 5. He is a businessman, but his businesses have not been successful. Right now he is unemployed and helping his wife who has a successful chocolate cake-baking business, but he said he had a contract coming up soon. Jenny had a warm and generous energy, as she served us chai and cake and insisted that we stay for dosas (huge, thin pancakes, cooked in butter and wrapped around a potato-onion mixture). Although Chrissie was in a little bit of a hurry, we couldn't deprive Vally of his first dosa of the trip. Natasha woke up and later she recited a long poem for us.

We left there and went on to Chrissie's wife Giselle's parent's apartment, where she is staying, temporarily, with her new baby, Rohan and their 4 year-old Chriselle. This was one of the few "well-furnished" places I have seen here, although I only saw the living room. We visited briefly while Chrissie went home to get the baby's milk which is delivered to their house. This baby seems to have had a rough start, after his mother spent much of the pregnancy in bed, compounded by a set of worried parents. He had conjunctivitis in his early weeks, failed to gain weight in his first month, began to get supplementary feedings from that point and now, at three months, is totally bottle-fed. He has had a major bout of gastritis requiring an injection every 12 hours for 5 days. His parents take his temperature and chart it at frequent intervals during the day. They also, I was told, record every other bit of data possible, including a description of each bowel movement. They did this with Chriselle, too, except that they also photographed her daily, which they are not doing with Rohan.

Then there is the massage thing...as Vally's mother later explained to me with an "of course" tone in her voice, Indian babies are traditionally massaged with coconut oil, daily for the first year of their lives, and twice weekly for a few years after that. Part of the massage involves banging on their heads, I'm not sure how much or how hard, in the belief that the head will not have its proper shape if this is not done. Vally's grandmother was the village baby-masseuse, although she refused to accept any payment for it. The mother also receives a massage, at least for the first six weeks. Chrissie and Giselle debated whether to do this and chose to err on the side of caution, so every day a massage lady comes to the house, gives the baby and massage and a bath, then he is fed and put to sleep. I don't know how Rohan feels about it, but Vally's mother reported having to sneak up on him and catch him to do it, and he also remembers trying to get away. Later I found out that for older children the oil massage also involves sitting there with nothing to do, not allowed to do anything for one hour while the oil soaks in. Now I know what Vally, to this day, does not like being massaged-something I consider one of life's great pleasures.

    Adventures at Indian Airlines
     
We left Giselle and the baby, but took Chriselle with us. Chriselle and her daddy are very close and he takes her with him a lot. We went back to Chrissie's where I took a nap and Vally, Matthew and Chrissie went to the Indian Airlines office to turn our 15-day all-you-can-fly pass into actual airline tickets. This simple operation took almost 3 hours. The problem was the there were 5 agents using one dot-matrix printer and the printer had very little memory. The agent had to print 13 tickets for each of us, but every time she sent the job, which took 15 minutes to set up, it would crash after printing 5 tickets. Ultimately she had to send our flights one at a time. Unfortunately, the flight from Delhi to Agra and back (the Taj Mahal) has become non-existent, even though we have reserved seats-something about the fog and all flights being suspended for a month.
    Driving in India Part 2 - the Nightmarish Trip to Borvili and Back
     
We had a lunch date with Vally's mother's brother's widow (Shailesh's mother) in a place called Borvili, another part of Bombay. If I had know what would be involved in getting there, I am not sure I would have been willing to go. Also, there was a cricket match between India and South Africa. Chrissie was so involved with the match that as we drove to Borvili, Matthew was required to wear a walkman and report the score at no more than 90 second intervals. Bombay traffic, in the middle of the afternoon, is as bad as you can imagine, although it basically keeps moving. This was the second part of my introduction to driving in India. We were on what is considered a highway, which is a wide, mostly-divided road. There are many different sizes of vehicles on this road, starting with bicycles and motor scooters, increasing to rickshaw cabs, to small cars and vans, to very small mid-sized cars, to big trucks and buses. There are NO lanes. Instead there is an ongoing game of something like Tetris, where as many vehicles as possible, under constantly changing conditions, jockey for position and fill the road at all times in every possible combination. Thus the two "theoretical" lanes could be occupied by 5 motor scooters, 3 cars, a car a truck and a motor scooter, etc. Everyone must have fantastic depth perception because the minimum clearance is about 3 inches and no one slows down. All this in stifling heat, surreal carbon monoxide levels and an occasional traffic stop in which the exhaust of a diesel truck is emptying directly into the passenger window of the car next to it. Imagine yourself in a locked garage, turn on a poorly-tuned car without a catalytic converter and wait a few minutes, you'll get the idea. None of the cars is air-conditioned, no one has a seat belt or a protective helmet.

The side of the road was also surreal, except you've already seen it in movies or in National Geographic photos. People walking and crossing everywhere-women in saris or house dresses, men mostly in western clothing but occasionally in lungis (a cloth wrapped around their waist either like a skirt or tied between their legs like shorts), people carrying things on their heads, etc. I quickly realized that there were two types of people, those would could keep clean and those who couldn't and it was a clear class distinction. We passed what I guess could be called squatters camps, and they were as bad as you imagined-open ditch sewers at the side of the road, people, especially children, using them as a bathroom. Little girls squatting down and looking so vulnerable. It took about 1 1/2 hours of this to get to Borvili. We parked the car, passing a small urine-soaked park with people lying all over the ground and went up to Auntie Jane's place.

We met Shailesh, after all that e-mail, and two of his three sisters and his mother Aunty Jane. During the remainder of the afternoon, we ate dinner, buffet style and talked. After a couple of hours, we left. The trip back was equally awful.

    A School Fair
     
Before we could call it a day, we had to go to Chriselle's school fair in Juhu Beach, an adjacent "nice" neighborhood. Chriselle goes to a Montessori school, according to Chrissie very child-centered, 15 children in a class, the staff very personally involved with the kids. Chrissie is very proud of this and it stands in sharp contrast to the traditional school where Chriselle would be one of 50 children spending the entire day sitting at wooden desks and terrified of the teacher. The fair was similar to the homecoming fairs that we have at Catholic parishes in St. Louis-booths with games, food, a raffle. The only difference was that the cotton candy was made using a hand crank, the popcorn was made over charcoal, the games were short on equipment and there was a display advertising natural living and homeopathic medicine. Also we ran into a couple, cousins of Giselle's who, upon finding out that Vally and I were recently married, heartily recommended going to a Marriage Encounter, and credited their happy 7-year marriage to it.
    Back at Chrissie's
     
We went back to Chrissie's apartment, hoping to take a lot of melatonin and go straight to bed. Instead we all sat around talking and Vally attempted to redistribute our luggage so that we wouldn't take all 200+ pounds to Goa with us-especially since we were each limited to 1 suitcase weighing 40 kg on a domestic flight. I was overwhelmed by this point. I hadn't done the packing and didn't even really know (experientially) what we had brought. As far as I was concerned, it looked like Vally was simply shifting things from one suitcase to another, although I was content to let him do that if that was what he wanted to do. Unfortunately, we couldn't go to bed, because there was a wedding taking place in the schoolyard just below Chrissie's window and the music was incredibly loud (macarena prominently featured). Chrissie and Matthew assured me that it would be over by 10 PM. It was a Catholic wedding, and Chrissie pointed out the standard features of the ritual, but I wasn't follow it very well. Finally, 10 PM came, the music stopped, we took our melatonin and our first day in India came to a close.
    The Second Day in India
     
Chrissie's bed was quite comfortable, a foam pad over a platform bed. This turns out to be typical of the beds we have had in India. We got up, finally decided what to take with us, and then Chrissie took us on foot, through Bombay congestion to an Indian fast food restaurant (Udipi restaurant) for breakfast. It was good and, of course, cheap, although not what we would consider breakfast food in the US, and we ordered and got bottled water. Chrissie has a water purifier. Then we went to the airport. We took a cab with a cartop carrier and Matthew came with us because he had worked out some kind of deal with a friend at the airport who was going to allow us to take our overweight luggage without paying extra for it. Matthew took great pleasure in being able to do this. The domestic airport was total overload for me, I was completely overwhelmed. It was like an old and very busy bus terminal, with large, stationary crowds of people standing out front with an unknown purpose. Although now I realize that they were relatives seeing off family members, at the time I had no idea holy felt totally at home. Matthew scurried off looking for his friend but did not find him. I didn't understand what was going on. One thing that was confusing was that the airlines counters are inside the baggage x-ray part. You get your bags x-rayed and they are given a tag, then you check them in. The next thing I remember we were checking in at the first class Indian airlines counter, which seemed to have appeared out of the chaos, and, because Matthew said the magic words, i.e. his friend's name, everything was going fine, except the tag had come off one of our bags and we had to get it re-x-rayed. After that we hung out with Matthew and got chai at a nearby stand. The friend appeared briefly and we thanked him. Then we went to the departures area, which really did look like a bus station, complete with a crier announcing the flights, except there were planes outside the doors, not buses. Only post-security check passengers are allowed there. Carry on baggage is x-rayed before getting on the plane, and a tag which you are supposed to know to get at check-in is stamped. Passengers are frisked by hand in some airports or with a metal detector in others. There is a male and a female attendant for this purpose. Both are in khaki uniforms, but the women can wear khaki saris.

In retrospect and after some more experience, the airport doesn't seem all that, bad but at the time I couldn't imagine doing it as a newly-arrived tourist.

    Indian Bathrooms
     
Perhaps this is a good time to say something about Indian bathrooms. I was not completely unprepared because of my earlier experience with the Hare Krishna people who try to do things in the Indian way. In India there are two styles of bathroom (actually, technically 3). One is English, exactly what we are used to. Chrissie has an English bathroom, as does anyone who lives in the city. Indian style toilets come, as I discovered in a restaurant in Panjim, Goa, in two styles. The women's style is your basic toilet basin, except the top of the basin is level with the floor and there is no seat. Instead, there is a place for your feet, either separately in cement or as ribbed wings of the porcelain. The men's or possibly the compromise type is identical except the whole thing is about 10 inches off the ground-but you still squat on it (except possibly to pee if you are a man), although Vally says they usually have an optional seat. In reality some did and some did not. There are two other useful facts about Indian toilets: the door is ordinarily kept closed, so if you are in there and don't want company, you'd better lock it (I found out the hard way). The second, as many of you know, is that there is no toilet paper. Instead there is a spigot, a bucket and a small pitcher, although sometimes in public bathrooms there is no pitcher and I'm not sure how people handle this one. The pitcher is used for pouring water and the left hand for directing the water to the area that needs cleaning. Vally tells me that men, at least, ordinarily pour the water from the back. I can't exactly picture this. I carry paper. Also, many of these squat toilets flush passively, i.e. as a result of the water that has been poured in, although some actually flush. The major drawback, aside from requiring some agility and awareness of where your clothing is, is that you are much closer to the smell of the toilet and if you use it just after a meal, when your olfactory senses are keen, it can be rough. The advantage is that it is an efficient position from a physiological point of view-the leisurely practice of reading in the bathroom is unknown, and due to the position and the amount of water on the floor, inadvisable.